27 June 2005
BRONCOS CHECKS!
Okay, I just opened a checking account with U.S. Bank the other day, and I have to say, today they proved themselves less than satisfactory. My checks came in the mail, and they're all covered in Denver Broncos logos! If they're going to go around promoting sports teams, they should probably promote the ones that are worth something...like the St. Louis Rams! They've really got a lot to do to redeem themselves now! Really, the best checks they could make available to me would be St. Louis Cardinals, but I'm not sure if they've got them available or not. However, I'm just going to have to wait and see!
25 June 2005
Colorado Springs!
Okay, I've been in Colorado Springs for about 2 1/2 weeks now, and I'm loving it in a lot of ways!
I can't tell you how neat it is to be able to be driving down the interstate and get to see the Air Force Academy Chapel off in the distance, or the roof of Focus on the Family. It's so much fun to see the mountains off in the distance again, after not seeing them for so long after living in Tucson. On top of that, the mild weather here is always a plus too.
On the other hand, I also miss home. Every now and then, I start missing my nephews again. I can't wait for them to come and visit here though, as there's so much that would be fun to do with them here. I also still haven't found a job (although I've got some resumes into places that seem promising). On top of that, I miss Sunday School in Illinois, as the teacher and class there was great! The class I'm in here is pretty cool too, but I guess I've just got some adjusting to do.
Anyway, now it's Saturday, and I'm just hanging out, posting on Common Thread, and playing Monopoly on Games.com. So, on that happy note, I'm gonna go ahead and get going! Hope all is well with all of you!
I can't tell you how neat it is to be able to be driving down the interstate and get to see the Air Force Academy Chapel off in the distance, or the roof of Focus on the Family. It's so much fun to see the mountains off in the distance again, after not seeing them for so long after living in Tucson. On top of that, the mild weather here is always a plus too.
On the other hand, I also miss home. Every now and then, I start missing my nephews again. I can't wait for them to come and visit here though, as there's so much that would be fun to do with them here. I also still haven't found a job (although I've got some resumes into places that seem promising). On top of that, I miss Sunday School in Illinois, as the teacher and class there was great! The class I'm in here is pretty cool too, but I guess I've just got some adjusting to do.
Anyway, now it's Saturday, and I'm just hanging out, posting on Common Thread, and playing Monopoly on Games.com. So, on that happy note, I'm gonna go ahead and get going! Hope all is well with all of you!
24 June 2005
Spell a Word to Get Into Heaven!
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion and my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion and my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
18 June 2005
Common Thread Christian Forum
I would simply like to ask that everyone who hasn't already visit the Common Thread Christian Forum. I am the Head Moderator there and would really like it if more people would sign up. We're really trying to promote our little forum and hope that others would join and have fun with us there! There are all sorts of interesting things to do. You can post jokes, play online games, discuss/debate theology and politics, or just sit and chat with others. So drop on by! Plus, if you ever have trouble finding this link again, just look at the sidebar of my blog and I have it listed in the "Links" section.
17 June 2005
PIG!
I don't know why I found this so hilarious, especially since it insults my gender. However, there's something about it that just got me laughing, so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
02 June 2005
Who should make the coffee?
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew thee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
"The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
"The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
The man and the ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again."The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again."The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Classified Ads
This is what happens when the classified ads in the newspaper go terribly wrong:
Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks included.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Wanted: hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks included.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Wanted: hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
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